The Year I Said Yes to Everything (and the Year I Said No)
David Wilson
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The open-door year
Straight out of school I accepted everything: every shift, every party, every group trip, every "come along, it'll be fun." The logic was simple — I did not know what I enjoyed, so I had to sample widely.
It worked, in the way a very busy year works. I found two things I genuinely love and a dozen I do not. I also burned through savings, agreed to commitments I resented by March, and spent a great deal of time being sociable when I would rather have been home.
The open-door year is good for information. It is terrible for energy.
The closed-door year
The next year I flipped it deliberately, mostly because I was tired. I declined hens parties, weekend drives, "quick catch-ups" that are never quick, and volunteer gigs I had said yes to out of guilt.
What I expected: offence. What happened: a couple of disappointed friends, a month of feeling like I was missing things, then a quiet stretch where I read four books and slept properly for the first time in years.
What I also learned: refusing everything is as lazy as accepting everything. I missed one opportunity I genuinely wanted because I had pre-decided to decline anything in that category.
What I kept from both
- From the open-door year: trying things before I have a plan for them.
- From the closed-door year: checking my calendar before I answer.
- From both: my energy is a budget, not an infinite resource.
| Approach | Good for | Bad for |
|---|---|---|
| Accept by default | Discovering what you like | Time, money, sleep |
| Decline by default | Recovering, finishing things | New opportunities |
| Deliberate accepts | Building a life you chose | Requires knowing what you want |
How to choose your own season
Ask one question: what is my current bottleneck? If it is information — you do not know what you like — run an open year, but time-box it and set a spending cap. If it is energy or follow-through — plenty of options, nothing finished — run a closed year, but leave one door deliberately open.
Choose the season on purpose instead of drifting into one, because drift defaults to whatever is easiest in the moment.
You can switch halfway. The point is that the year is a decision rather than an accident.
What neither year gave me was an identity. Accepting everything did not make me adventurous, and declining everything did not make me disciplined. Both were just tools used badly until I started choosing on purpose.
Common questions
How do you choose your own season?
Ask one question: what is my current bottleneck? If it is information — you do not know what you like — run an open year, but time-box it and set a spending cap. If it is energy or follow-through — plenty of options, nothing finished — run a closed year, but leave one door deliberately open.
